Thine Own Choice
by Talking Hawk
Summary: A sort of religious story of Gandalf and Sauron in the pre-mortal life, and how people have control of how they turn out. Fourth installment of the "May It Be So" series. No slash.


Thine Own Choice  
  
By Talking Hawk  
  
Author's Note: This is a part of the "May It Be So" series, but reading the other stories in it is not necessary to understand this one. Just know that "Your Own Choice" takes place at a place called Here, our version of Heaven or the pre-mortal life. Also, each character has a different name before they are "born," or are sent down to Middle Earth, but this will be verified by the story actually begins.  
  
Yukafretees - Gandalf Otantier - Saruman Porificus - Sauron Galennedor - Frodo Esthmus - Sam  
  
I sigh heavily. I will miss this grand place. Here never ceased to amaze me - it was plain, but yet, so beautiful. My heart grieved, knowing that I would be leaving this place of white soon. I would be journeying to the land of the Living soon.  
  
I could not help but feel apprehension within me. The lives and cultures of mortals had always fascinated me so, and I had studied diligently in all of them. As I saw it, since I would soon be a Maiar, a powerful and awed race, I needed to be prepared to be such. I needed to be prepared to be a student of magic, as well as be ready to lead others in their paths of life.  
  
Much was expected of me. Much I expected of myself.  
  
More so than any of the other races I had gained knowledge of, I had to admit that none of them intrigued me more than that of hobbits. Though they were a group only recently created by the Valar - the Gods - they went about their business as if they had been in existence for hundreds of years. They never strayed far from home, and busied themselves in their own affairs - especially in feeding the many mouths that they conjured.  
  
Being aware of the long years of work and council I was going to be looking forward to as a Maiar, these simple people quickly found a place in my heart. There was nothing complicated about them, and though no one particularly expected anything of them - not the Elves, Men, dwarfs, or any other manner of life - they always surpassed the capacity I thought they had to love and care for one another. It was a wondrous thing.  
  
I walked about, intending to calm my nerves. My hands folded behind me and pressed to the small of my back, I gazed up at the glowing, marvelously white trees. They were usually sparse Here, but this area - in which I had never ventured before - they came one after the other. I sighed contently, taking in their beauty, seeming to leave all my burdens behind me.  
  
"Yukafretees?" a voice asked. I whirled about, my hands falling to my sides. Before me, dressed in similar white robes that worn by most all of the beings Here, stood my friend Porificus. He grinned, his unusually dark - a sort of orange color - skin appearing just as foreign to me as his short gleaming black hair atop his head.  
  
We were not the closest of friends, I do admit, but we knew each other well enough. We had had many of our mortal life study classes together, especially since we were both assigned to be Maiar. He was amicable enough, I suppose.  
  
I do not know what exactly it was about him that made me hesitant to befriend him completely, though I still treated him kindly nevertheless. He always had a gleam in his dark eyes, as if he were up to something. Porificus was also very intelligent - more so than any other I knew. He had a way of twisting the thoughts of others, and the way he influenced them frightened me. I had yet to fall under his mind tricks, but I was also unsure of if he really was doing such things.  
  
Therefore, I could not convict him of any wrongdoing.  
  
"What brings you out to these parts?" he inquired, and I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
"I do not know. I suppose my worries drew me out here, seeking a refuge."  
  
He smiled in that way that made my skin crawl - his teeth showed, and the corners of his mouth curved up deviously. It made him look suspicious, as though he were plotting something. But I could never prove anything, I could never be sure.  
  
I attempted to smile in return, fearing what wrath he might bring upon me if I did not return the gesture. After my face relaxed, he made his way to my side, staring off into the direction I was facing. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes, scrutinizing his unusually joyful face.  
  
Bouncing somewhat on his feet, he asked, "Have you heard what They've said of me?"  
  
"Do you mean of the Assignment Givers?" I asked. He did not respond, so I assumed that this was correct. "No, I have not heard."  
  
The grin returned to his face as he slowly turned to me. "They have predicted that I will be a great and powerful ruler of the lands of Middle Earth." His pleasure was written across his features, in no way being hidden.  
  
Not to appear rude, but I honestly had no interest in this. For what reason should I care for this information?  
  
He turned back to what he was staring at, and said, "They have also said that I will be a Dark lord, a ruler of Darkness."  
  
Horror seized my heart, and wrapped its hands about my lungs. I could not breath. My eyes widened, disbelieving. I had suspected his thoughts, but I never thought.  
  
"Art thou pleased?" he asked, grinning even wider than before. I inhaled deeply, finally able to force my lungs to take in the air that they desperately needed.  
  
"Pleased?" I scoffed. "Why wouldst I be pleased? A Dark lord, They say? A poor prediction, indeed."  
  
"How dost thou mean?" His grin melted into a frown. He was reacting these things the exact opposite way I'd have him react.  
  
"Porificus," I sighed, my heart failing me. A wave of sadness washed over me, not knowing why my friend was acting this way. "What makes thee think that this prophecy is correct? They have been wrong in the past, as you have already seen."  
  
"I know," he said, nodding in agreement. He didn't say this with the air of worry that I had hoped for. Instead, it seemed as though he was humoring me. I narrowed my eyes, waiting for him to face me completely before continuing.  
  
"It is thine own choice in the next life what thou will choose, Porificus," I spoke solemnly. "No sort of premonition or prophecy will decide your fate for you - it is chiefly thy choice what course you will take. They cannot decide this for you."  
  
Before he could respond, the sound of forthcoming footsteps came to my ears. I turned about to find a smiling and waving Otantier approaching. I frowned, though he was one of my closest confidantes. It normally filled my heart with joy upon seeing him, but this time it troubled me. I needed to finish my conversation with Porificus.  
  
"It is time!" he announced cheerfully, oblivious to the solemnity still in the air. "They art calling for us." I nodded, knowing that the three of us were going through the "veil" all at once to be sent to Middle Earth.  
  
"Give us but one more moment," I said sternly, and my dear friend gave a slight nod of his head before leaving once more.  
  
Though he was wise, Otantier's naivety sometimes worried me. He always thought that he could handle his own affairs, but it was Porificus that most of my fears for my associate fell upon. Porificus' eerie ability to be able to persuade people to do his bidding had a haunting effect on Otantier - the former could make the latter do anything he wished, Otantier thinking the entire time believing that he was governing his own actions.  
  
I feared for him very much.  
  
Returning my thoughts to Porificus, I turned to him. He had that grin on his face once more, and feeling a bit nervous, I followed his gaze. Perhaps within the past few moments, two figures had appeared in the distance, walking together and chattering happily. I squinted my eyes, and when they appeared a bit larger in my eyes, a feeling of apprehension filled my soul.  
  
It was Galennedor and Esthmus.  
  
Why was he staring at them that way?  
  
Without removing his eyes from the pair, Porificus answered my question. "They said that I would rule over all the peoples of Middle Earth." His face taking upon a new, a more horrific, level of craftiness, he said, "Your Galennedor and Esthmus will be among them."  
  
A surge of anger flooded my mind. Pointing my finger at him threateningly, I shouted, "You leave them out of this! Leave them be!"  
  
"Ah, but that's my 'own choice.' Remember?" he asked, amusement and mockery in his tone.  
  
I narrowed my eyes dangerously, and said, ever slowly, "It may be so that it is thine own choice, Porificus." I moved my face closer to his, glaring into the dark eyes that reflected mine. I lowered my voice so that he would be the only one that heard my reply:  
  
"But I will always be there to stop you."  
  
He threw back his head and laughed, evil flowing from his lips. I shuddered, his true aura finally penetrating from his shell.  
  
He was the Dark lord. There was no doubt in my mind now.  
  
"You shall try," he said, "but then you shall fall into the Darkness."  
  
"It is time!" Otantier called out, waving his arm, beckoning for us to come. Begrudgingly, we complied, walking ever slowly in his direction.  
  
We were now both friend and enemy, conquering and unconquerable. We walked side by side, shuddering at the sharp contrast of the other's energy. Both Light and Darkness.  
  
"Whether the Darkness shall conquer me or not," I whispered to him, "the Light shall always follow the Darkness."  
  
The sun was setting on Middle Earth's peace with Porificus' entering upon it. But I did not fear.  
  
.For the Dawn always follows the Night.  
  
Author's Second Note: I don't know if you caught onto this, but.do you think that Gandalf and Sauron in this story sounded a lot like Jesus and Lucifer? Okay, just food for thought. Anywho, if you didn't catch on, this is a story about the choices we all make - philosophers such as Hobbes believed that we are born a certain way (in his belief, actually, we're all naturally evil.), but I wrote this to point out that it really is "thine own choice" as to what kind of person you become. Everything's not predestined. I'm not sure if you share this belief with me or not, but I hope you at least enjoyed it. (Oh, and one last thing - I know that Sauron never ceased control over the hobbits, but during his lifetime, he did take over a lot of people.so.ah, just don't worry about it.) 


End file.
